Monday, January 10, 2011
1:20 AM
An excerpt from my journal
It is almost completely silent outside. I'm sitting on the front porch with two fleece blankets and a pack of cigarettes. All I can hear is my pen scratiching, wind far off in the distance, and the hum of a freight train. One lone car just drove down McMurray I assume. The static buzz of light snow is falling in front of the streetlamp like dying moths. My smoke travels upwards and vanishes. I can't properly document it. I took two pictures, and an eleven second recording on my cellphone. It is eerily peaceful. I see snow hit the already covered monkey grass, but I can't hear it. It is beautiful. I don't even feel cold, but my fingers sting. It is picking up now. Bigger flakes. It may snow for the next two days, in spite of my loneliness. The parking lot is already blanketed. The old man next door just coughed in his sleep. I assume their bedroom is on the second floor. The high-pitched zap of the television just rang in my right ear. A train is blowing its horn miles away. A sedan fish-tailed slightly on Edmondson. The snow is now obscuring the streetlamp. My ears are rubbing the inside of my hood.
I walked down the road to the mailboxes to take more pictures. I've lost enough weight now that I can zip my camera up into my big coat. Who knows if they'll come out, but that 400 CN black and white film picks up some really wonderful detail. I made a snowangel in the middle of the parking lot, but it won't be there in the morning. I don't even like Elliott Smith but it's all I'm listening to at the moment. He reminds me of snow. Tomorrow I hope to shoot Katy around her house with a black metal vibe, similar to the satanic Vogue spread that I've seen pictures of. The landscape at her house is odd. There's a big church and sparse trees. Her dog, Dali, is stark black. I'd like to have her running around; That would make for a pretty interesting figure. My winter break has been partly nice, hanging out with some people and drinking too much champagne. But the other part has been numbingly sad. I sit in my dad's abandoned town home and watch Sundance movies I got from the library. The thermostat is on the economy setting, so sometimes it will chill me to the point I feel sick. I don't know what I expected from this break anyway, I suppose. A smidge of the unordinary would be greatly welcomed. I want to take a mini one-man adventure but I don't have the funds for gas. Maybe I'll get some weird gig where I can make $100. The snow may ostracize me from the world though; I'm not great at driving in it. I'll just take more pictures. That keeps me insanely sane.
